OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
birth control should be required to get into college
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
