At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
