I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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