i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
