You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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