Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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