i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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