I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
