it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
