I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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