Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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