Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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