Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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