ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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