Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize