oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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