I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
