Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
