Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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