STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
