If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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