I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
