when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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