yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
