I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
