Kiss
Puke
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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