There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
