If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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