I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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