By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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