He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dicks are not precious.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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