I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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