Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
pray to the hookup gods
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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