shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize