the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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