Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
