In the future we'll all be gay
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
