help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
