i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
