sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
