Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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