They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
