We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
