Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
