is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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