There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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