These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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