he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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