And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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