im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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