So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize