He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
