all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
