we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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