when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
