oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
