Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
