its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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