im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
operation have a gay friend backfired
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
